New 'Do, Take 2

At the risk of appearing narcissistic, I took another pic of myself with my haircut today. It looks better today since I did it rather than just taking a pic after getting it cut. (My hair never looks the way I would do it after coming from the salon.)

I can't believe how curly it's gotten! All of the waves/curls in the above pic are natural and are from letting my hair air dry this morning after washing it. (By the way, the "M" pendant was one of my Christmas presents from Josh this year. More on that in another post.)

My hair has always had a bit of wave to it, but I think it was when I was pregnant with S or Grace, it started to really curl. It seemed to be getting more curl in it recently because I was starting to even get ringlets when it was long, but I was afraid that they'd disappear once I got it cut shorter. (I had curls as a toddler til my hair was cut, and the same happened to E and F.) I'm glad to see the curls and big waves are still there.

Yesterday I said I'd gotten about 5" cut off. After comparing the above pic to this one E took of Josh and me on Christmas Eve, I think it may have been even more.

6"? 7"? I'm not sure, but it looks like a lot.

Bittersweet Thanksgiving

I am so thankful to God for all of the wonderful blessings he had given me. But this Thanksgiving is also bittersweet, as it is also Hannah's first birthday.

One year ago today my healing yet scarred heart was torn apart again as I learned another of our babies had died before birth. So much of the day was deja vu of what had happened just over a year earlier.

I don't want to dwell on the sadness and heartache, but I can't help remembering. And while I remember, I give thanks to the Lord that he did bless us with these two little girls who, while they were alive, I was able to cradle in my womb. I thank him that I was able to hold them in my arms, even though it was only their earthly bodies. I can no longer touch them, hold them, kiss them, but my love for them is still just as strong as if I could.

Remembering

Today, on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I am remembering those babies who died before birth or while still infants. You are still loved and not forgotten, Grace, Hannah, Annie, Samuel, Zoe, Rain, Chloe, Caden, Abigail, Laela, Charis, Ethan, Heidi, Gracie, Josiah, Ephraim, and other nameless little ones.

(Day 286 of 365)

Two Years

Two years ago today was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life.

My midwife, the most wonderful midwife in the whole world, gave us this Precious Moment figurine in Grace's memory. Grace's name and birthdate are written on the bottom. (She gave us a matching one with Hannah's name and birthdate on the bottom, too.)

(Day 276 of 365)

I miss you everyday, but I'm especially missing you today on your 2nd birthday, dear daughter.